So you wanna to be a Glacier Red Bus driver? Part 2: The REAL Right Stuff.

DISCLAIMER: Everything in this series is solely based on my own personal experience as a Red Bus tour driver in Glacier Park. The metrics from which I derive many of my insights and conclusions are based specifically on my abilities and performance alone. As with driving a car, your mileage WILL vary.

So, what does Dave think you really need to be a great Jammer at GNP? Here are a couple of things just off the top of my head.

Having a passion for everything Glacier

You will be absorbed into Glacier EVERY day. Learn it, live it, breathe it, and be consumed by it. Find the topics that YOU really love about the Park and speak to them. Share it with enthusiasm and excitement.

There is so much material you will be given to draw upon. From the flora and fauna to the mountains and glaciers to the endless cultural history and the age of exploration. Never let your material get stale or canned. If you get a question you don’t know, find the answer. Even if it’s after the tour and you are washing the bus. The hardest part of the touring dialog is picking out what you want to talk about from such a diverse catalog.

I tried to learn something new every day. This is pretty funny because some of the other drivers considered me one of the more knowledgeable Jammers at Beargrass. With nearly 40 years of experience in Glacier, the more I learned the more I realize how much I just did not know.

You must think like a five-year-old. Ask why about everything you see, hear, or touch. Really seek out and embrace questions from your riders. It will be so exhausting. Yet so personally rewarding.

Love public speaking with an audience on wheels

You can NOT have a fear of engaging the strong personalities of strangers every day. And you will find some pretty big ones. Fortunately, this is where the school bus-driving mindset comes in handy. My bus, my rules. Don’t make me call your parents (or worse).

No two tours will ever be the same. The number of hours you are locked in a bus with 16+ people from all walks of life will vary. The weather is a given unknown every day of every week. There will always be too many clouds, too much wind, too much smoke, and too much sun. The only constant is the people. It’s like a library full of books and no two will ever be the same.

You need to be able to adjust, pivot, and most importantly always engage. You will find out what people want to know more about, and what they don’t care about. You can guess but will always be wrong. And when you get the one loudmouth who is constantly asking things for the sake of hearing their voice and irritating everyone else, shut them down. The only dominant person on the bus is you. In my opening intro, I would always advise a new group that my bus was a Dave-ocracy. Kind of like democracy, except although everyone gets a vote only mine counts.

It is not about trying to pander for tips with bad puns or reciting an encyclopedia of facts to sound smart. I found the times I tried the hardest for tips I was normally disappointed (hey, some people just don’t tip). Then there were tours where it was just a great day, the vibe and my mindset just clicked, and I decided to have fun. I was doing it for me. As a byproduct, I’d have a great time with my passengers and would be handsomely rewarded for what seemed like nothing.

You need to be a little goofy, and never take anything personal. Sometimes people are just jerks, but the vast majority are not. So connect with those you can and enjoy. Depending on the group, I would throw out the line “I’m doing this tour for me. You are all just along for the ride.” There would be some chuckles, but it was true. Sure, I wanted them all to enjoy Glacier as much as I did. But every time I’d drive into the St Mary valley and be greeted by all of those incredible mountains, I was selfishly enjoying myself more than my tourist ever could.

I got butterflies in my stomach each morning before a tour, even at the end of the season. You never know what kind of people you will get or what interactions will unfold. It was exciting to start the slate clean every day (sometimes twice). It just never got old. Every time was like the first time.

Drive one of the scariest roads in America while giving narrative

Driving the Going to the Sun Road really frightens a lot of people. I would say a most of the people that take a Red Bus tour is so that their spouse can enjoy the ride and look around (not behind the wheel). And the vehicle length limit for the road (which rangers do not enforce) is only 22 feet. The White Motor Company Model 706 Red Bus is just under 25 feet bumper to bumper. Yeah, keeping it on the road is no easy task when you should not legally be there.

You WILL drive the hardest and narrowest sections DAILY and often multiple times. If that doesn’t take concentration and care, now factor in talking. Not just taking but interacting and taking questions from people while you try to remember famous explorers, early history, and all of the animals and rocks that make up a million acres park. Lots to read up on.

A good Red Bus driver should be talking 70-80% of the trip. Short trips are 4.5 hours, and full-day ones can be up to 8 hours. That is a long time to be on the stage performing. Let alone a stage moving down the side of the mountain. All the while passing within inches of literally HUNDREDS of cars and big pickups (with the tow mirrors out) going the opposite way. Then trying to find parking spots at pull-outs and actively entertain a live audience. I’m getting a nosebleed just thinking about it.

Physically fit to explore the Park on days off

The worst thing a Jammer could do is NOT experience the Park in their off time. Sure, you see it every day. Sure, you put on several thousand miles in that Red Bus going down the same road all summer. Sure, you just point blinding and recite mountains and waterfalls and lakes from memory without even looking up anymore.

But you need to lace up the boots and get out there. Off the beaten path. And with 700+ miles of trails and hundreds of named peaks, there is a lot that has NOT been beaten (and some, frankly, that has been beaten to death). To do all of that you need to be in shape. Now that can be a little tricky. Everything about this work experience feels just off. You will be out of your comfort zone.

Your diet gets all changed around with the employee cafeteria food. Your sleep cycle is all messed up with one (or two) snoring roommates. Workdays can be excruciatingly long. But sometimes, all of that is for the best. You have an entire season in a new and foreign environment to break into a whole new set of habits. And to be honest, most of them will be good.

All you need to do it start walking. It’s that simple. All hiking has ever been is just walking with a purpose. One foot in front of the other while looking around. Suddenly you will cross the hundred-mile mark, and everything opens up. Just remember bear spray. Those things are simply terrifying. Like a crazed teddy bear.

Are you ready to be a Red Bus driver now? Do you have what it takes? Xanterra told you what you must have. I’ve told you what you must have. But are you ready for a spoiler? The honest, brutal truth?

You don’t have to have ANY of the above. That goes for all the qualifications on the Xanterra post as well. You only need one single thing to be a Red Bus Driver at Glacier National Park. A clean driving record. Oh, and a clean drug test. So I guess there are two things.

They will train you for a CDL. And you can actually get by doing zero tour narrative (at least one person did last summer). So go and volunteer at a high school band fundraiser car wash and start getting good with a bucket and a brush. Who knows, maybe I’ll be one of your passengers up on the Going to the Sun road some summer in the future.

Oh, and I tip VERY well. I use hardly any coin rolls now (ever since the strip clubs stopped taking them).