So you wanna to be a Glacier Red Bus Driver? Part 8: Was it Worth It?

DISCLAIMER: Everything in this series is solely based on my own personal experience as a Red Bus tour driver in Glacier Park. The metrics from which I derive many of my insights and conclusions are based specifically on my abilities and performance alone. As with driving a car, your mileage WILL vary.

It only took 12,000 words and eight posts, but I think I have been able to (finally) convey not just what it takes to be a Red Bus driver, but what it really means. And it was brutal. Upfront. Honest. So let’s be clear, this job is NOT for everyone.

The people who actually do it generally don’t know they have it in them (at first). Only when they fully commit, and it’s too late to turn back. How many of us can count the times in our lives when we have climbed our own personal Everet with no descent plan? Or crossed your own spiritual Rubicon with everything on the table?

This job is nothing short of trial by fire. Your true mettle will be tested and exposed for all to see.

Well?

Many people have asked me, “Was it worth it.” The months away from home, paying someone to mow my lawn for the first time in my life, dealing with roommates without a clue, the utter lack of privacy, sharing a common area where people could not figure out how to wash a bowl, forever flushing the toilet for someone else because their parents totally failed, letting a bear walk up to me at night because it though it was the fat housekeeper from down the road, the crazy rainy days where everyone in the bus was miserable including me, the big personalities, the obnoxious tourist who called me out for being late and when I made it up to him with the best tour ever still did not tip, the rainbows that are burned into my mind forever, the beauty of seeing the St Mary valley wake up every morning, the feeling of turning the ignition key and not knowing what the day would bring.

I am smiling now. Why? Because I just wrote the longest continuous sentence on my entire blog. It wasn’t that good, and you still read it! Zinger!

Personal Takeaways

• Never try to game the tipping. It just doesn’t work.
• My worst day ever: I drove 32 people over 13 hours and 200 miles. $20 in tips.
• My best day ever: I drove 11 people in 8.75 hours and 80 miles. $320 in tips.
• Group tours are the real money makers. And more fun. Can’t say that enough times.
• I ripped a tire open on the Sun Road and stranded a tour group for three hours. Nicest, kindest people I have ever met.
• Keep your bus clean. It is an extension of who you are and how seriously you take the job.
• When you smell gas, pull over and stop. You are only seconds away from burning your Red Bus and Glacier Park to the ground.
• Never get a bee sting before your two days off.

Conclusion

I guess I’m officially declaring my candidacy for being a Jammer next summer. With all I’ve learned, I know I can craft a better experience for my guests and more importantly myself.

My mantra will be simple. Selfishness is a virtue. Ayn Rand was correct. Greasy-hair chain-smoking and all.

Every day I’m going to be out there for me. Everyone else will just be along for the ride. We will see just how many boats this high tide can raise. And trust me, there will be many.

For those of you who made it thru this series of posts, thank you for your patience. For those of you who did not, I can only hope you enjoyed all of those videos you watched instead of cats doing stupid things. The internet was made for so much more. Just look.