Tales of an Idiot Savant. Onboarding for the Glacier 2023 Season.

Well, some of you are going to call me a ******* idiot.  Because I am going back to Glacier Park again next summer for the 2023 season.  As a Red Bus Driver again.  I must not have gotten enough abuse the first time through. The long hours, the short pay, the drama of everyone under 30, etc etc etc.

And some of you are going to call me a ******* genius. Well, really more of a savant. A person with an incredible aptitude for all things Glacier, perfectly offset by significant impairment with everything else in life (just ask Nancy her thoughts on my social skills).

Driving the Red Bus is a lot easier with 6000 miles under your belt and a couple of hundred hours of dialogue spoken. And I’ll be in the heart of my own personal climbing Mecca. Don’t forget working with some interesting characters who alone could fill my blog full of stories.

I figured I would on board with the same travel template as last year.  Skip a week of school bus driving, train that week for a Jammer, then come back and finish the last week of school bus driving. Ah, yeah, no.

Immediately I’m screwed. The dates of the one week of mandatory training (for all drivers, new and returning) for the early June class has been split over TWO weeks. The time that I CANNOT get off.

Option A: Take the late June class. But that means I’d start touring in July and only have an 8 week season. Yeah, no. Not worth my time.

Option B: Take the mid-May class. Since only one week is required for returning drivers, I’d go home for a MONTH and then start touring the day school is out in mid-June.

Winner winner, chicken dinner!

Or is it?? With that being said, there is a little poison pill that comes with Option B.

Two things happen when you are on-boarded at training. First, you get your employee badge. You are now an official seasonal employee. Second, the clock starts for any deductions for meal plans and lodging. Let’s look at that one in a little detail.

Red Bus drivers have a minimal meal plan because we travel all over the park and don’t have an onsite cafeteria. So that twenty bucks a week, when I am not there, will just be an offering to the gods of seasonal employment.

But lodging is another beast. Xanterra hasn’t charged this for the last two years, using it as an incentive to attract seasonal workers from a critically short labor pool.

But….. with the foreign J1 students pouring in, this might not be necessary. So, worse case, $7 a day x 30 days for a humble hovel at Beargrass would be $210 for the month I’m not there. Let’s just call it $300 with food.

But is this a poison pill? Is the glass half full? Maybe even very full? What is the advantage of having an employee badge a month early? And employee housing a month early? And employ food (even if icky) a month early? Hmmmmmm.

Let’s bullet this out. Getting my training done in May and starting the payroll clock would potentially provide me with the following FOR A FULL MONTH before I start touring for the season:

• One weekend of hiking BEFORE training week.
• One weekend of hiking AFTER training week.
• Four days of hiking in late May (Memorial Day weekend + a personal day)
• Three days of hiking the first weekend of June (weekend + a personal day)
• One weekend of hiking in mid-June before I start my first week of touring (pending schedule).
• Full access to the Park without the need for a park entry pass, or specific road pass
• Use of the employee entry lane
• A place to sleep and cook
• Food if I want it
• A discount on all merchandise (yeah, worthless but had to throw it in)

So by applying a little GoatBoy math, that 300 bucks suddenly buys me up to 13 days of pre-season hiking in Glacier Nation Park. In the heart of the place I love the most, AND not having to work.

What a bargain. You can’t even get a barebone tent campsite for $23 a day, let alone a roof over your head with a shower and kitchen.

Bonus: last year’s deductions didn’t start until AFTER I started touring. So this might turn into my favorite F-word of all time: free!

There are a couple of other subtle advantages. I’ll be checking into my seasonal housing earlier than everyone else. That gives me the first choice of cabins, along with finding a nice cubby to keep my stuff in the common kitchen area.

Plus I can drop off my gear and get it sorted. And take a LOT of amazing photos. Last year you saw my early June pictures. Just imagine what May is going to look like!

Definitely taking over all of my snow climbing equipment during the early season training weekend.

I only need 290 miles this summer to hit the 1,000 cumulative mark for three seasons. How cool would that be to knock out maybe half before the summer even starts?!

And the wildlife should be amazing. Animals will still be shaking off their winter slumber. The early hoards of tourists will not be getting very deep into the trails for a couple more weeks. Mine. It will all be mine.

So still a couple of months out and lots can change. But at least I have a plan in place. We’ll see if it all comes together.

So expect great hikes, great stories, and tall tales of tourists that are just too unbelievable to make up!

GoatBoy out!