Horrible relief, lobotomy training. Old acquaintances, new smiles.

Ok Ok Ok. I really MUST start studying after this one. After all, I am a Jammer. Although, maybe a different KIND of Jammer. Kind of like evolution. Just takes one messed-up fish with an extra fin with some attitude, and suddenly BAM! Land mammals with tools to catch what they use to be.

Back at my first training day since the original start-up week, and excited to see what I missed. And… well, not sure it was that much. There were some wonderful classroom hours about policy and procedures that I heard brought the house down. Some people got to drive and listen to a little practice commentary from a senior driver.

But what is really going on is … this.

A bunch of guys walking around the Jammer with all panels open, working on their pre-inspection walkthru for their Montana CDL Class C test. It is coming up in the next few days.

There are a surprising number of people who have to take it. Of course, if you fail, there is no need to learn commentary about Glacier Park. Your job just evaporated (as did the last three weeks of your life).

Again, my Class B with Passenger endorsement is a Get out of Jail free card for this training and testing. Which unfortunately is the main focus for the entire class except me and another school bus driver. So I pulled out my tour maps to start working on talking points and commentary, and I see this cool GIANT relief map of Glacier Park.

It was pulled from storage somewhere and was being staged in the copious space of the Jammer garage for an upcoming restoration. I love these things. This one was beat-up and stored poorly thru the years, but with a 1911 copyright, it was made a year after the park opened. Very cool for a nerd like me.

OK OK OK. Back to studying. I saw Lorraine doing the pre-inspection walkthru with the rest of the class. You’ll remember she lived in the same RV Park/prisoner of war camp I did last summer. Lorraine is smart. Although the Jammer concierge at LMD, she knows the value of a CDL for moving these buses around the park when a driver isn’t available (we Jammer seem to be often in short supply).

Whereas nice to see a familiar face in the Future Jammers of America crowd (sub-semi-sesquicentennial, that is), I was later tapped to lend a hand on her backing up practice in the shop parking lot. And also the co-pilot for some around town practice driving with stop signs/signal lights/railroad tracks. Perfect. I can get out of the shop for a little while.

All right all right all right. Dave is feeling pretty cool right about now. Driving the mean streets of Columbia Falls in a 1936 vintage White Motor Coach, with a pretty gal behind the wheel and all I have to do is smile and wave. Yeah, take that all you stuck-up high school girls who turned me down for prom in 1984.

Of course, that’s when I realized she only had a CDL learner’s permit, so had to have another CDL holder in the vehicle with her (specifically seated in front). And I was the only one available. Well, that bubble was good while it lasted.

After that, the big news came out. Critical driver shortage and EVERYONE is going to drive next week (well if you pass the CDL test). Since both Frank and I are school bus drivers, we are going to start next Sat/Sun. OK OK OK. Time to REALLY study.

The first thing I did was make sure my Jammer hat and coat fit. The white shirt and tie can wait until the actual tour day.

Now time to start putting together my bus bag kit. Of course all of my guides and the general stuff. But what about those special items? You know, the things that make me ME? So I pulled out the National Park trivia cards. A bunch of my AdventuresWithGoatBoy blog business cards. And my favorite self-help book to keep on the dash for quick access when I have a personal crisis to avert.

Now time to study. But wait! I run into Patrick in the cafeteria. The guy who last summer was a master housekeeper. He has the arm span of a California Condor and could make a bed with two snaps and a tuck. I had to pull out some of my NP trivia cards on him. I mean that is sort of practicing for a Glacier tour. Right?

Ok Ok. Enough is enough. I will turn off my observation skills and sardonic humor for the next couple of days. Focus. Focus. Focus. I am a master of my domain. I am confident. I will succeed. I will make people laugh. I shall make them cry. And with the correct choice of words and a bit of luck, a few will even pee their pants. Just a little. It’s going time.