The wilderness lost and found. Where all my lost stuff went, GNP style.

I am coming up to my last hike of the season. So why not do non-hiking post? My game, my rules. Below is how I convinced myself that I didn’t just take from Glacier this summer. I really gave back to this place I hold so dear. If only I could make this narrative into a rap song. But that’s what I get for playing the triangle in band.

Gil the mountain goat was happily hoofing about the rocks on Mt Reynolds this summer, when he came across some nice prescription sunglasses with a cleaning cloth and case and everything. They were so handy for keeping the snow glare out of his eyes while roaming the mountain cliffs look for some lichen to lick.

But the prescription was pretty strong, and he made a bad step. So sad, Gil ended up dead at the bottom of the mountain (but he sure looked cool lying there with them specs).

Well, Gilda the Griz and her cub Kate where over feasting on moth larva on Mt Siyeh and heard Gil fall. Not too picky or egotistical, they decided to lower their standards a notch and snack on a little carrion protein for the upcoming big sleep. So, they moseyed on over to see if Gil had done a good job fatting up this summer.

Gilda was sporting a very nice Seattle Sombrero rain hat. It so matched her eyes, and with the flap up on one side she could not help but want to growl with an Australian accent and purred ‘throw another shrimp on the barbee.’

Kate was a little more composed, but was really feeling glamorous with the very stylish retro polarized sunglasses she was sporting.

Kate was also smart enough to stay away from prescription lenses and always maintained good footing while in the foraging mode. As they both nibbled away, each secretly cursed Gil for not having lost more of his winter coat this late in the season. The bear duo was getting a lot of hair in their teeth, and that’s when the click of a camera could be heard.

It was none other than Carl the Columbian ground squirrel over on Mt Gould. Carl had stumbled across a camera selfie stick, which finally allowed him to capture pics of himself with funny backdrops. Like two bears wearing silly human things. Who would have thought this possible?

I’ll tell you who: Matt the marmot over on Pollock Peak. Matt had picked up some very clean and nice quality 8×24 Nikon binoculars, which allowed him to keep an eye on both Pete and Gilda and Kate. When I say an eye, I actually mean only one eye. Those beady little peepers were too close together to use binoculars as they were designed. Matt didn’t mind. Switching from side to side gave him something to do between taking nibbles on the case binos came in. Some kind of synthetic material which was slowly but surely building a beaver like dam in his lower intestine. Matt was dying a long and horrible death, but was blissfully unaware which made every tasty bite all the more precious.

But we almost forgot about Pricilla the Pika. Pricilla must gather hay while the sun shines for the long winter to come. She does not hibernate. Her husband Chuck doesn’t add much to the food effort. However, he did come home from Pt Allen with a beautiful black and grey SmartWool beanie. So wonderfully warm and round and double layered. He offered it as a throw rug for the middle of the den. Ah, nothing like eating last summer’s grasses and beating winter’s cold on such a soft and comfy bed. It did, however, slightly smell of an angry 55-year-old human. Oh well, you can’t have everything.